Lessons learned from yesterday's show

Sarah's car is filthy.

SK is very fond of David Beckham.

On discussing the merits of the new male impotency pills that can last for up to 40 hours, Sarah posed a good question: how would you find the time to get the washing-up done?

Wogan's pips on Thursday were so good, that Sarah almost drove into the back of a bus in amazement.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah won't be able to go and see Mel Gibson's film on Jesus as she would 'have nightmares forever'.

There is a works outing coming up. Alan Dedicoat and John Marsh (aka Marshypops) are rendezvousing with Ms Kennedy this Friday lunchtime for a Chinese. Unfortunately, it was down to Sarah to make the booking and she's worried that the funny Chinese man on the phone didn't understand her. Just in case, SK will be packing some sandwiches.

SK played the correct version of Raindrops Keep Falling On My Bonce today.

Lessons learned from yesterday's show

Sarah is amazed that Jerry Hall appeared in a record-breaking six shows in one night. 'Why?' she asked. Adding it's a 'funny world'.

SK had the most terrible dream -- her domestic life 'disappeared down the drain'.

Gary, the It's Showtime requester, had the audacity to say that Sarah was 'completely loopy' :(

Terry Wogan interrupted the show today by barging into the studio and giving Sarah a sticker for her little car: 'I love cats, they taste like chicken'. Sarah said Wogan was a 'horrible boy' and planned her revenge during Lynne Bowles's travel 'witterings'. She's going to bring her killer cats Marbles and her daughter Echo into the studio this Friday and release them onto an ignorant Wogan. To add to the plan, she won't be feeding the said felines on Thursday.

Sarah's going to the theatre to see Round The Horne.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sararah didn't sleep too well last night.

Jeremy Vine is expecting his first baby. According to Ms Kennedy, most babies look like Winston Churchill.

SK hates the rowing, and is quite pleased that the BBC won't be paying for it anymore. The best race she saw was the one where Cambridge/Oxford sank.

Lessons learned from today's show

Whilst 'scratting' around the newspapers for her daily review, Sarah announced that her best chum, Matthew Kelly, has been named Actor Of The Year.

Sarah's favourite soup, The New Covent Garden's chicken soup, has been labelled 'as salty as sea water'. SK has never noticed the high salt content.

Ms Kennedy looked out the studio this morning and mistook the condensation for deep fog.

Sarah and Her Much Beloved (aka Adrian) had a fight this weekend -- over the TV. SK wanted to watch Up The Kyber as she had never seen it before. The Beloved One had seen it three times so wanted the rugby.

Apologies to those who requested today's It's Showtime song of 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Bonce' -- the wrong version was played, which SK will correct in the near future.

Lessons learned from today's show

Boring Lynn Bowles never does anything exciting at the weekends.

Sarah knew all the male choir of the last ever South Pacific musical held in London. 'To a man,' she revealed, 'none of them were interested in ladies.'

Richard Allinson has revealed that he and Sarah will be staging a photo shoot for the upcoming TOGs 2005 calendar. Apparently, they are going to recreate the Superbowl clinch between Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson whereby the former grabbed the latter's right chesticle!

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah once sat next to Paul Young at the horse races in Dubai. A waiter came along and spilt red wine over the pair of them!

Lessons learned from today's show

One of the worst interviews Sarah ever did was with Randy Crawford. It wasn't Ms Kennedy's fault -- Crawford was in a 'rather strange mood'.

Sarah asked Lynne Bowles if she could go anywhere in the world, where would it be. 'Wales' said the dour traffic reporter.

'Chesticles allowing,' Sarah will greet us all again tomorrow.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah calls the BBC broadcast officer (the man who keeps everything on air) 'KOD' -- Kiss Of Death.

Sarah received many Valentine Cards for which she would like to say thank you for.

Lessons learned from today's show

The frisson is back -- Richard Allinson has waltzed back onto the morning airwaves.

Following on from last Monday's electronic gates fiasco when she got in to the studio at one minute to six, Sarah had even more problems today. A green van driver -- driving for a cheese cellar company -- forced Sarah onto the pavement at 4:45am with some absolutely atrocious driving. Needless to say Sarah is going to call the company today to complain about the fool.

Sarah's going to see Dame Judy Dench and Guy Henry in All's Well That Ends Well soon.

Contrary to popular opinion, if SK doesn't turn up for work, the BBC don't pay her.

Continuing her recent quest to catch up on unseen movies, Sarah can report that she loved Calendar Girls but silly old Dear Beloved (aka Adrian) ruined The Exorcist by recording the football over the end of the film. Sarah flounced into the kitchen in protest.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah went to the theatre yesterday to see a George Gershwin tribute. She always pays for her tickets so can always recommend a show without fear of bribery suggestions.

On reading out tips on the art of kissing, SK admitted that her sex life was 'terminally dull'.

Sarah had hardly any sleep last night. She woke up with an itchy eyeball and Adrian (aka Much Beloved) has drank all her fruit juice.

Apparently Sarah hasn't told Radio 2 bosses that she'll be away for the Kentucky Derby.

Lessons learned from today's show

On reading in the papers about the cost of weddings, Sarah suggests economising by not wearing any knickers.

SK hates the phrases 'lots more to come' and 'stay with us'.

She also dislikes weather forecasts that are delivered too fast.

Ms Kennedy 'goes downhill after 7:30'. Up until that point though, she's at 'full throttle'.

Sarah thinks Joe Brand is excellent.

Sarah is going to the Kentucky Derby this year.

Lessons learned from today's show

One of Sarah's friends has got 'women's problems' so she bought a pedometer. She was told that the average number of miles walked in a day was two. Sarah reckons it's much more than that and invites anyone with a pedometer to contact the show.

Rupert (the mole on the Queen Mary II) has written to ITV suggesting that Sarah Kennedy go on the next I'm A Celebrity.

Wogan said he'd only go into the jungle if SK goes in too.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah wants to see Wogan in the jungle for the next I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

SK is a quaint, old-fashioned person who prefers Bing Crosby to Bjork.

Luckily, the BBC paid for Sarah's taxi to work yesterday following her broken electronic gate fiasco.

The Guardian salutes our Sarah
The following high-quality piece of journalism comes from today's Guardian newspaper. Well done to them!

Sarah Kennedy (Friday, Radio 2) does nothing frantically. You wouldn't want her to, given that her show starts at 6am. It's a sleepy, otherworldly ("I've always wondered what Red Bull is all about; I didn't know if it was alcoholic or not") and cosy programme - the radio equivalent of a crocheted tea-cosy - presented by Kennedy in a style that has top notes of Terry Wogan and Pam Ayres, and yet is all her own. As a presenter, she has a knack of creating quite powerful visual pictures, some of which you rather wish she hadn't.

Last weekend, for example, Kennedy heard "a great thundering like wilderbeasts in the spare room". It was, as she expected, a cat playing with a vole. "The vole," she explained with much pathos, "did a runner. The vole shot down a hot pipe. The smell ... as you can imagine." Yes, the vole melted, leaving a house so smelly ("we've got two Airwicks, the stuff you stick in plugs and we've even burned incense") that she has had to cancel impending lunch guests who were lined up "for pasta and salad".

As Radio 2's only female presenter in the weekday schedules - an imbalance it would be good to see rectified now that the station has a female controller - Kennedy is to be treasured. Her style may be quirky ("Are cockles and winkles the same thing? It's a winkly problem," she ponders, oddly, on news of the deaths at Morecambe Bay), but somehow she makes perfect sense in that half-waking, half-snoozing state so much of her early audience must inhabit.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah happened to come across a pair of fur handcuffs and a thong laying around the studio this morning. She assured us they were not hers, laying the blame at Radio 2's naughty boys: Jonathon Ross and Richard Allinson.

The Kennedy Towers' electronic security gates didn't want to let Sarah out this morning, meaning she was almost late for work! Luckily she managed to get an emergency taxi -- Pete was the driver.

A mouse has died in one of Sarah's pipes, causing a stench.

SK watched Groundhog Day but didn't understand the ending.

Sign the Sarah Kennedy guestbook


 

Lessons learned from today's show

Ms Kennedy once smelt a dead turtle. She can still smell it now.

Lessons learned from today's show

Sarah forgot to turn her microphone on today!

Lessons learned from today's show

Wogan was eating the stale donuts from yesterday. Surprise, surprise.

SK was meant to go out with her sister yesterday, but she had toothache.

Yes, yes, YES!

Sarah's back where she belongs on air after her short illness last week.

Lynn Parsons (aka Parsnips) has now got the lurgie.

A box of donuts appeared in the studio today in aid of National Donut Week.

Sarah only paid Guy 'It's Showtime!' Henry £13 and lunch for the recording.

Guess what SK spotted yesterday? Yes, a bumblebee!